Yoda Mom

A bit of advice given before I have birth was "find your Yoda Mom". This is a women who has her second child at the same time as you so you can befriend her for all her wisdom. A brilliant plan! All my friends have toddlers or older at this stage and they have been a wealth of knowledge and equipment, but a Yoda Mom eluded me.
Yet my Yoda Mom has been with me for 15 years. My dear friend Ashley and I have led parallel lives as pageant girls, young professionals and married women. She delivers her second child any day now and I am going to pump her for information and inspiration!

Revolving Door Ward

If you clock the time I spent in the hospital from the moment I gave birth it rounds up to 31 hours. I was offered another day but decided to go home. Why rush it? I wasn't trying to prove anything, I just felt there was more support at home than in the hospital.
A recent Daily Beast article makes me think I should have spent another day but then again the reason I went home was based on support.
It would be easy to blame it on insurance companies, but I think the issue comes from shrinking hospital staff and trying to fill many women's need of being in control of their delivery experience.
I for one was a little surprised to hear the baby would be with me from the moment I delivered. Couldn't someone else watch the baby that first night to let me get a full night of sleep?
Nope! There little Peter slept in his crisper while I tried to sleep off the drugs and the pain I was starting to feel.
I changed every diaper myself and I fed him without instruction from the first moment. I got some bang up meals delivered to my bed, but otherwise it was me, the baby and below basic TV.
So I headed home to the care of my mother and husband.
But I pushed it too much there too. Some how I figured I had to be a trooper and do SOMETHING other than lay in bed if the hospital was sending me home. Hindsight I should have taken a shower and curled into bed. Instead we took family pictures and sat around talking. The next day we were out to the pediatrician for a check up where I once the feeling of manning up was reinforced. If the doctors want the baby in the office they expect you should be bringing him.
So when a client called with a gig 4 days after delivery I said yes. It wasn't heavy lifting, why turn it down? Well if I had known I would faint 6 hours later I maybe would have reconsidered.
I have a feeling that will be the mantra of motherhood for me "If I had known, I would have reconsidered".

RedTri.com- Get on Board

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RedTri.com Trolley Story

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Red Tricycle DC

I am so excited to be part of the team of writers for RedTri.com in DC. You can read my stories at http://redtri.com/dc but I will also post them here. Feel free to send me story leads!

Push Gift

I can't remember the first time I heard about the idea of a gift for giving birth, but I do remember thinking "A reason for getting jewelry! I am fine with that." The concept is simple. When a woman gives birth, she expects a large item of jewelry to commemorate the birth.

My mom has two lovely items from giving birth to my sister and I, but I remember the engraved silhouettes she gave my grandmother for each of her grand kids.

I want a push gift, in fact I have known exactly what I wanted as soon as I found out the due date. Sharing this information and price tag were the hard part. How do you break it to your husband you want something of monetary value to commemorate the moment that is invaluable?

Thanks to Mervis Diamonds it makes I easier to discuss.

Mervis Diamonds is offering free diamond earrings to the couple who has a baby closest to the day and time of William and Kate's Royal Baby. If your baby is due any moment visit www.mervisdiamond.com/push-presents to enter.  

Here's hoping the most recognizable voice in DC calls with some good news soon!

Trippy Love

Thanks to the wonderful Claudine Kurp of Kid Trips for showing interest in my journey. 

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Showers and Their Themes

I have been blessed with great friends. They are supportive, funny, talented and true. They have been so excited about my pregnancy. I think its because they knew I wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut about every moment. They have also risen to new heights of thematic parties. 

It all started with Miss DC 2009 who threw the first shower. Dozens of former contestants, volunteers and gay men got together. They supplied baby pictures so the room could be decorated in a kiddie pageant theme.

Next came a weekend away with some of my bridesmaid. We stopped for ice cream at every road side stall on the way to the beach.  We sat around and relaxed and shared stories and took naps. I was banished to my room one night to set up a party. We had decided there would be no gifts, but they just couldn't help themselves. To be honest, I am glad. They gave me their children's favorite books and 

we played ridiculous games and shared enormous 

cupcakes. Then the real gifts came out. Mini buttons with all my favorite things on 

them and hand written advice cards that made me cry. 

Then it was back to my childhood home for an epic celebration. Your family can't live in a town for 40 years and not have fewer than 60 people at a baby shower! My mom's good friends drowned me in love and baby items. But the best part were the buffet and goody 
bags all handmade by women I've known my entire life. Anyone can make chips and dip but macarons from scratch? SERIOUSLY? It 
was almost as impressive as me making a human!

An office shower kicked off the summer. We gathered for fried chicken and humor and an awkward game where my coworkers used 

string to guess my size. Somehow, appropriately, "The Voice" of the Newseum guessed it EXACTLY right. 

Now at 36 weeks the final thank you cards have been written for the neighborhood party. What was to be a simple BBQ turned into a 

heart warming evening. It started with a hand painted shelf in my favorite color and then every neighbor selected a children's book for the shelf. Classics, favorites and unknowns were added one by one till the shelf was full!

The nursery is still a disaster. The 10 year old IKEA computer desk is still in place and the crib is weeks away from delivery. My mom arrives in 2 weeks and then the room will 

suddenly look like a decorated room thanks to her fine touch. I just hope Bjorn doesn't 

arrive first.

Get Ready!

We have this offensive term at the office. We refer to birth as "splashdown". It's the perfect combination of rocket science and disgusting. Just like the actual birth. Even more the baby is like a little astronaut in his capsule with the life line, so I really love the term.

Now that I have less than 30 days to go I realize my body is going into this weird mode that i cannot control. I feel like the baby is going through a check list with my body. It reminds me of the count down in mission control at NASA. I feel like my body has disconnected from my brain and I am just watching. When I finally go into labor I will know how much of this is in my head and how much is nature

Keep It Classy

It is the time in the pregnancy when CME and I are taking classes. I signed up for these classes months ago and today was the first-- CPR for Infants.

Who is it that said "if you can't find the patsy at the poker table you are it"? I always think of this when I enter a classroom. There is that couple in every class that you think "just shut up so we can get this over with!"

Shouldn't there be rules to follow in parenting classes?
1) No one wants to hear your "advice from experience". We are taking the class so we can get a baseline of knowledge. If we wanted to hear your story of the time your child choked on a jelly bean we would ask.
2) When you speak in class and no one turns around in their seat to look at you, you have no audience. Maybe your thinking "wow I didn't even notice no one looked at me." That is because you were too busy holding court.
3) When it comes time to practice in class don't take it as an audition. We all know the script. We are trying to murmur it while imagining ourselves in the situation. Your cries of "CALL 911" are not needed and concerning to the jazzercise class across the hall.

And if your the instructor, these rules apply to you! Its not time for your 2 hour comedy set. Give us the instruction and a laugh half way through and we, your students, will leave happy and informed.

There are exceptions to the rule. You have a handy little tip that you found your friends didn't even know about, please share it.

What's In A Name?

Recently The Atlantic did a wonderful story on the mellifluous names of NPR reporters. This just adds to my pressure of having no names for a baby girl. I find it hard to name a girl. Meanwhile the boy’s name was decided before we even conceived. Yet a girl’s name seems to have more impact. If we give her the wrong name, will she be destined to a life that we didn’t intend.

My husband and I have had a very hard time finding a name that would imply heritage, strength and femininity. I think even if we found that name I would have to still see the face of the baby.

So for now, the baby will continue to be named Bjorn.

Why I won't be registering for that

I'm sitting in the airport to fly home for my second baby shower. This one hosted by friend of my mom. A chance for them to see me in real life to get a view of my quickly enlarging body.

My mom calls to inform me her best friend can't find anything good to buy me off my registry. How can that be? I registered for just what I needed. Items range in price from ATM purchases to big ticket items, with a smattering of adorable ridiculous tossed in.

Apparently this friend will be buying me something I can "use forever". I expect to smile while unwrapping a silver picture frame. 
Why must I register for one of every possible tool for the baby? As it is I can't believe I chose a $400 crib!

Which brings me to the wipe warmer. For the uninitiated, a wipe warmer is a heated caddy the diaper wipes reside in. It plugs into the wall and is a fire hazard. REALLY! There is a warning on it! Besides this safety fact, I get pissing mad (sorry I couldn't resist) about the
fact its job is to warm pieces of wet paper to wipe the butt of a baby.

No wonder we have a generation who feel entitled! They have been told room temperature wipes aren't good enough for their smooth bums. I want my child to feel that therapeutic sting of cold soap. If they can't deal with that, they are going to have a hard time having me as a mother!

What Elizabeth Jennings Taught Me

There has been a lot of discussion about work and life balance since the publication of "Lean In". I have even been asked for comment on it! Now 7 months pregnant, I have stronger feelings about how I plan on finding the right equation.

It was today that I found my model; Elizabeth Jennings. She is almost too good to be true, and 

she isn't. Mrs. Jennings is the main character in The FX's successful new drama "The 

Americas". She is a KGB agent, a travel agency owner and mother.

Somehow she finds the time to raise a family and run a business all while killing people. Sure 

there was that one time she forgot to pick up the kids from the mall and they were almost in 

harms way, but she was busy with state affairs.

Now her marriage maybe falling apart and the cold war is heating up. She and her husband areseparated and her kids are getting to that nosey age. How will she handle it? With 80's style 

and chilled Russian vodka running through her veins!

My notes are simple; know your priorities. Is it kids or job first? Your job maybe a touch smaller 

than dear Elizabeth's, but it sure feels like we are toppling countries sometimes! 

* Remember to wipe your prints and cover your tracks. Work methodical and with purpose 

quickly.

* Don't fret when you mess up. So the kids were almost molested! They escaped using 

ingenuity and a bit of genetic code, and hell they are closer than ever!

* Work with your spouse no matter what! There is a greater good you two are working towards. It could be communism or something smaller. Even if you aren't feeling the love, know you were and still are a great team. You will find your stride again and the reason you're together. 

So forget all the talk and discussion and get to it! Be that agent kicking in doors and folding 

laundry to cover up for something else more subversive.

First Shower

One of the sweetest emails I got when announcing I was pregnant was from a former Miss DC contestant who said "you are so great with girls 17-24 you will be an awesome mom". Today I was so touched to have Miss DC 2009 host a baby shower for me with dozens of former contestants, volunteers and some of my best gays from my pageant days!

Early mommy interview

Click on the image to hear my views on pregnancy

http://www.letmommysleep.com/639/

Itch

They say being pregnant is a time to glow, but every square inch of me is itchy. I have been plying myself with loads of ointments and oils, but nothing is helping. In general I have felt off this whole time. Either I am too exhausted to move or I feel like I am walking through water. Now the itch keeps me in a constant state of irritation.

I am sure eventually the itch will be left to just my stomach as it stretches.

Baby item shopping

I have never been in a baby store other than to pick up a gift from a friend's registry. So I was more than a little overwhelmed to check out the things one needs. I also worried about going too early. Thank goodness for the calm, experienced hand of Libby who took me under her wing. She helped cut through the noise of all the baby stuff. I highly recommend if its your first time, you go with an open mind and let your friend be your guide. There is so much out there and it is very overwhelming. So to cut through the noise, a mom who has done in before will help greatly! However be prepared for people to think you are lesbians.

Lots to report

Trying to keep this all quiet has meant that I cannot blog about it. But now I can!

I have been exhausted for months. The tip off that I was with child, should have been the 6 hour car ride I slept through in mid November.

I muscled through till Thanksgiving when it was all confirmed. Since then I have been spending any time after 6 in my bed. It is so irritating to not have the energy to accomplish anything other than drinking large amounts of water.

I always though being pregnant would be a whole lot of eating at buffets. But alas, I have only been craving salad and tomatoes. It is so disappointing. I did eat a lot the first month. That tired feeling mostly disappears when I eat. So I kept eating. When I finally realized that it wasn't helping I think I had already gained about 10 lbs. That means I haven't gained anything in the last 2 because I am eating like a normal person. YET I seem to be suddenly huge.

Thankfully a Miss DC comes in many sizes, so I called the one who is 6 feet tall and asked to borrow some dresses... when you put an amazon's dress on a short, pregnant woman it actually works!

Now after confirming that nothing fell out of me while I flew to too many places, I now feel like I have an alien in me.